


Love on the Brain

by ImagineRedwood



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, F/M, Feelings, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 21:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19732372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineRedwood/pseuds/ImagineRedwood
Summary: Request: “Imagine based on Love on the brain by Rihanna please! With Kozik”





	Love on the Brain

“Hey.”

You looked up from the rum and coke you were making to find Kozik standing there, leaning against the bar with that half smirk-half smile ever present on his face. You didn’t return it though, fed up with playing his game and giving into him.

“What do you want Kozik?”

He gave a pout that you caught a glimpse of before you returned your gaze to Gemma’s drink.

“What, I can’t stop by and check up on my girl?”

You had been prepared to stay quiet, to bite your tongue until he left you alone, but the arrogance was too hard to ignore.

“Sure you can. Chrissy’s right over there. Or were you looking for Candy? No, no, Alex is your girl, right? Sorry, you got so many it's hard for me to fucking keep track.”

The light sarcastic tone that you had started speaking with was all but gone by the time you finished, a bitterness audible there now instead. Kozik, who had been rolling his eyes with a smile at the beginning of your sentence had now traded it for a frown, his eyes trained on you.

“Come on, don’t be like that.

**_And you got me like oh_ **

_**What you want from me?** _

**_(What you want from me?)_ **

**_And I tried to buy your pretty heart_ **

**_But the price too high_ **

“I’m busy Kozik. I can’t do this right now.”

You finished stirring Gemma’s drink and picked up the glass, walking out from behind the bar and heading over to Gemma who sat on the couch in the corner of the clubhouse. As you neared her, her eyes were already trained on you, that half smirk on her lips as usual.

“Trouble in paradise?”

You snorted and scowled, handing her the glass.

“Paradise my ass.”

“Try to talk it out. You know how dense they can be. He probably doesn’t even realize what he’s doing.”

“He does. He just doesn’t care. You’d think I would learn.”

Gemma pouted softly as she heard the disappointment in your voice and she reached over to take your hand in hers, squeezing it softly.

“Do what you think is best baby.”

Nodding softly, you pulled away from her and headed outside, needing some fresh air. Your head was beginning to hurt, torn between what you should do to ease the pain and frustration that came with loving a man that didn’t love you back nearly as much. You took a deep breath and went outside, taking a seat on the mat of the ring, hanging your arms over the ropes and folding them to rest your head.

**_Baby you got me like oh_ **

**_You love when I fall apart_ **

**_(Fall apart)_ **

**_So you can put me together_ **

**_And throw me against the wall_ **

**_Oh, and babe I’m fist fighting with fire_ **

**_Just to get close to you_ **

**_Can we burn something babe?_ **

**_And I run for miles just to get a taste_ **

You enjoyed the silence for a little while before it was broken by the squeak of the ropes, someone coming to sit down next to you. You didn’t have to open your eyes or look over to know who it was. His cologne gave him away quickly.

“Go away, Kozik.”

You heard him huff beside you, his hand coming to rest on your back, fingers tracing along your spine.

“You know its not like that baby. I get with them because they’re there. Sometimes your busy or you can’t make it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or want you. You know I care for you. None of the other girls matter. You’re my girl. Only you.”

You nodded but said nothing, still fighting with your own emotions. The two of you had started as friends with benefits, nothing more, nothing less. Both of you promised there would be no feelings involved. You’d thought it would be easy to keep your word but 5 months in, that was proving more difficult than you’d anticipated. You’d tried to call it off, citing that you’d developed feelings for him despite trying not to. You’d been sure he would agree, him having made it very clear that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. Yet he declined, saying that he felt something for you too and that you would try to see where things went.

That had worked for a while. More affection and care for each other being factored in along with the sex. There were kisses and hand-holding, but there were also other women. Kozik had spent most of his time with you, sure, but you weren’t the only one and that was something that you had tried to come to terms with. Clearly, you had failed.

**_Must be love on the brain_ **

**_That’s got me feeling this way_ **

**_(Feeling this way)_ **

**_It beats me black and blue but it fucks me so good_ **

**_And I can’t get enough_ **

Kozik moved his hand from your back to your shoulder, grasping onto you softly and pulling you over to rest against him. You didn’t fight him and he took it as a good sign. He wrapped his arms around you, your ear pressed to his chest as he held you. His voice was low as he spoke again.

“I’m really trying with this shit. I’m rusty, you know that. That doesn’t mean you don’t matter to me. Forget about the others. I’ll try to make this work. I promise. Just…be patient with me.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. A part of you didn’t really want to keep trying. You were tired of trying. You wanted to have a relationship with him, the man that you could admit you’d fallen in love with. Part of you wanted to call it quits, give an ultimatum. Make him pick between monogamy with you or having whatever girls he wanted. You didn’t want to take that risk though. You didn’t want to risk losing him.

The woman that you were, seemed like a stranger. A year ago you wouldn’t have thought twice about leaving a man that wouldn’t commit to you, and yet here you were, settling for what you felt was disrespect just because you loved him. It wasn’t fair, but it was the ways things were. You would try with him. Try to be patient, try to let him learn at his own pace. It sounded crazy even to you but your love for him had clouded your judgment and you leaned further into him. Even if it killed you, you would stick around and try to make it work.

**_Must be love on the brain, yeah_ **

**_And it keeps cursing my name_ **

**_(Cursing my name)_ **

**_No matter what I do_ **

**_I’m no good without you_ **

**_And I can’t get enough_ **

**_Must be love on the brain_ **


End file.
